On bilingual parenting & lowering the bar
Plus sticky ribs, lots of chickpeas, and an aside on prenatal vitamins
About a year ago, I decided it was time to go register Diana’s birth with the Turkish consulate. I had just gone back to work and handed the reins over to Sam for the second half of his paternity leave, and I was feeling productive; I booked the earliest available appointment, figuring I’d be in and out and back at my desk before the work day had really kicked off. In reality, I hadn’t brought the paperwork I needed, and having to speak bureaucratic Turkish while still fairly sleep deprived was both painful and somewhat embarrassing. I left empty handed and demoralized, unable to even complete any preliminary paperwork because I hadn’t brought any cash to pay the filing fee.
Last Friday, I finally worked up the courage to return for round #2 armed with every possible document I might need, and had a far less stressful experience. Reflecting on the experience later, I realized that (proper documents aside) one major difference was that after a year of speaking Turkish to Diana, I’m far, far more comfortable in it than I’ve been in about a decade.
For those who don’t know, I spent the first decade of my life in Turkey before starting school in the UK. My parents still live there, but we speak primarily English together — as a result, after 20+ years being out of the country I’d describe myself as more of a heritage speaker than a native one. My vocabulary leaves a lot to be desired, and my grammar is patchy. I went into parenting really wanting to speak Turkish to Diana, but once she was born, I immediately became frustrated by how hard it was and how uncomfortable I felt doing it.
Then, when Diana was a few months old, I reached out to a friend and mentor who also raised their kids bilingual, and got the kick in the pants I needed about giving up the idea of a “pristine” language experience and just going for it. (Thanks, Rob!) I am far, far from consistent - I often use English with her when I’m tired, when I don’t know a word, or just forget. We listen to Turkish kids Spotify playlists, read books, and are incredibly lucky to have a weekly toddler language class nearby that has served as a “reset” to get me back in the swing of things. Diana may not end up fluent, and I know it’ll get harder as she grows up - but right now, she understands a ton, and that’s a good start. Perhaps more importantly, I feel more comfortable in the language than I have in more than a decade, and more connected to my heritage as a result.
What we’re eating
Instant pot sticky ribs, served with quinoa on the side. This is such an easy recipe, and even if you are like me and start the sauce too late and as such it is too thin and mostly drips off, everyone will still be happy. (Plus you can mix leftover sauce into your carb of choice.)
Warm butternut squash and chickpea salad with a tahini dressing, which was delicious and pretty straightforward as is but would be even faster with pre-cubed butternut squash.
Reverse seared ribeye, crispy smashed potatoes with fried onions, and green beans done simply under the broiler using the technique from this recipe but just a quick toss with olive oil, salt and pepper vs the aromatics. (Can vouch the original is great too!) I bought the meat from Savenor’s and it was pricey but well worth it.
Frizzled chickpeas and onions with feta, which is a standby for when I haven’t planned for dinner but have feta in the fridge. The fresh herbs are awesome if you have them, but nine times out of ten I don’t and it’s totally fine.
Tomato poached fish with chile oil and herbs, because cod was on sale at Whole Foods and my sister reminded me of this recipe which I hadn’t made in years. It’s very easy and delicious; instead of doing the chile oil, I skipped the pepper flakes, left the onions and shallots in when I added the cherry tomatoes, and served it with chile crisp for the adults. I also added a bag of spinach for extra veg!
On the docket for next week: chicken chile verde, soy butter chicken and cabbage, and lots of meals out of the freezer because this week was a very heavy cooking week for me and I need a break. Plus, plenty of sourdough from Clear Flour Bread (thanks for the rec, Eric!) which I finally visited this weekend - very, very good.
What I’m reading
Currently tearing through Lessons in Chemistry, which is great and not at all what I expected. I have nothing on my list for this so will have to go on another library holds binge - if you’ve got suggestions, send ‘em my way! (And let’s be friends on Goodreads.)
Other things I’m thinking about
I’ve been paranoid about contamination in food and medicine forever, thanks to having a parent in the food industry who talks constantly about the prevalence of adulteration in spices. (No bulk bins for this gal! Spring for the good oregano, y’all, it’s not worth paying for olive leaves.)
Because of this paranoia, I knew that supplements were poorly (read: not really) regulated, but then I listened to my friend Byrd’s excellent Unexplainable podcast episode on the topic at like 30 weeks pregnant and was well and truly freaked out. (Having previously read Bottle of Lies about the poor regulation of overseas generic drug production didn’t help either.)
This week, veteran food policy journalist Helena Bottemiller Evich wrote an excellent writeup of the new GAO investigation into prenatal vitamins, which found that many brands didn’t contain the quantities they said on the label. It’s one thing to buy random unproven supplements off the shelf, but it’s truly shocking to me that even supplements that can be prescribed by or are routinely recommended by clinicians due to good evidence on their benefit don’t really have any oversight — consumers risk not getting what they’re paying for and at worst, getting something harmful! Thankfully, the investigation didn’t find concerning levels of heavy metals in the brands they tested, but it’s not out of the realm of possibility. (Helena has also done excellent reporting on the lead-tainted baby applesauce pouch debacle, and her newsletter is a must-read if you care about policy.)
That’s all for now, folks! See you next week - and in the meantime, you can reach me by replying to this email or leaving a comment.
Hey! I'm putting as much Turkish language content out there on my Substack as I can. I hope you (and perhaps in the future your little one(s) )might enjoy it :)